WHY SMOKEY IS A SHE/HE

SMOKEY, MY CAT IS A SHE/HE BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS. MY TEACHER GAVE HER TO ME AND SAID IT WAS A SHE. BUT I NOTICED IT GETTING REALLY TERRITORIAL(MARKING ON EVERYTHING) WHEN OUR OTHER BOY CAT WAS AROUND. ALSO IT HAS BALLS. SO EITHER IT IS A BOY, A REALY TERRITORIAL AND DEFECTED GIRL, OR SHE IS A HOMAFRODITE(WICH MEANS THAT THEY HAVE "BOTH PARTS").

Bob and the Magical Kangaroo

Once opon a time, their was a boy named Bob. one day Bob found a magical kangaroo. The magical kangaroo hopped up to Bob and said "HOLA". Bob was very surprised so he didn't know what to say. He stood there, stunned, and looked at the kangaroo very funny. The kangaroo looked at Bob and said "Can you speak ENGLISH", very slowly until bob craped himself. bob ran and hid behind a tree and he saw a magic rock and the rock said hey u crap face! i would like 2 eat some pie but i cant. a mean british wizard put a spell on me! so i can not eat, oh how i would love to have some pie or wendys french fries............YUMMY. and then BOB said i love french fries, then he took some out and started to eat them in front of the rocks face and then the rock bit his leg and said you meanie! then bob looked at the rock and said, that wasnt very nice. and the rock said, well ur not nice. suddenly bobs mouth starts to foam and bob became infected with RRRRRBRR(Really Really Really Really Really Bad Rock Rabies). you can only get it from a magical rock. if the foam touches you or anyone else the limb it touched will shrivel up and turn into an RRRRRBRR infected magical rock. the only way to get read of RRRRRBRR is to go to the wizard that cursed the magical rock. so bob and shawty(the rock) began their magical journey to find dexter(the wizard). all they know is that he lives in The Magical Box Of Magical Wonders. Bob and Shawty began walking across the desert.ONE HOUR LATER.i am sooo thirsty says bob. Shut your pie hole theres a coconut tree right over there we can crack open the coconuts and drink the milk thats inside of them.TEN MINUTES LATER. They came to the tree and reached for a coconut but then the tree sreemed No! Stop! My name is Unicorn Turd said the tree. I will grant you three wishes if you dont eat my coconuts. Ok said bob i wish that i could eat ur coconuts! No screamed the tree, but he had to give him the wish. For the second wish bob wished that Shawty was nice and not a mean bossy rock! NNNNOOOOO U LITTLE CRAP FACE- I LOVE U!!!!!! IM SO SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A MEAN BOSSY ROCK! then POOF the Shawty the mean bossy rock was a nice kind stick! For Bobs third wish he wished that they had a unicorn. So the tree gave them a unicorn. The unicorns name was Philly Philly Cheese Steak(Phil for short). he could run 80mph for an hour at a time. so they set out once again to find dexter. When Phill was carrying bob and shawty, he fell in a hole in the ground. When he stood up there was a sign that said "WELCOME TO THE MAGICAL BOX OF MAGICAL WONDERS!!!" They could not belive what they saw. and when phill saw all the other unicorns he almost crapped himself. and then bob just had to pull out a lollipop and all the unicorns charged them because lollipops are their favorite food. shawty ran out infront of the unicorns to try to stop them,and it sort a worked. they all tripped over shawty and flew out of the magical box of magical wonders. Then there was the stupid kangaroo again. the kangaroo said I am lord dexter. You have completed your quest. shawty wanted to know what friggin quest did he finish. The kangaroo said, hehe im not telling you. then he jumped out of the magical box of magical wonders and closed the door. phill and bob and shawty to this day still live in the box.

BOB and THE very CONFUSED egg

One warm summer day Bob decided to go for an afternoon walk. While Bob
was walking he heard some one crying. He didn't know where it was coming from though, so he just kept walking. The closer he got to a tree the louder the sound was. Once he reach the tree he looked behind it and saw a small egg crying. It looked just like a normal egg except it had arms, legs, a face and a small crack on the top of his head. “ Why are you crying ?” asked Bob. “well I hit my head and now i can't remember some things, like how old I am and how much I weigh or how tall I am. But I do remember some stuff like my name, Joe.” said Joe (the egg). “ How did you hit your head?” asked Bob. “Do you know Humpty Dumpty? I'm his brother and I was sitting on the wall with him and we both fell off but i fell in a bush and just cracked my head and he shattered to pieces so thats why I'm not in the story because I was ok but later I found out that I couldn't remember stuff and now i am very sad because I don't Know what to do.” said Joe. “ I think I can help you” said Bob “ I know a very smart Unicorn that knows algebra”.Bob and Joe walked to a hut and went inside. There was a unicorn wearing a funny hat sitting criss cross apple sauce in the middle of the floor playing a flute. He just sat there for a while playing the flute until he realized we were there then he said “Bob, we meat again, what is your problem that needs solving”“well” said Bob “ my friend hit his head and can't remember how old he is, how tall he is or how much he weighs, can you help him?” “Ah yes this is very simple, all we need to do is use some algebra!” bragged the unicorn. “ Well young egg,what DO you remember?” “All I know for my age is that my age plus Humpty Dumpty's age equals 19 and my age equals Humpty Dumpty”s age minus 5.” said Joe. “That is all I need to Know!” said the unicorn. Then he did some work on a sheet of paper. “Ah I've figured it out, I know how old you and your brother are, you are 7 and your brother is 12!” exclaimed the unicorn. “YAY!” they all screamed. “ Ok now what do you know about your weight?” asked the unicorn.“ Well I know that my weight plus Humpty Dumpty's weight equals 7 lbs. And my weight minus his equals negative 3 lbs.” said Joe. The unicorn worked out some more stuff on his paper then in just a couple seconds, he had an answer. “ Ok” said the unicorn....... “you weigh.....2 lbs!” “And what do you know about your height?” said the unicorn. “ Ok, I know that my height plus 2 times his height equals 15 inches and my height plus 4 times his height equals 27.” said Joe. The unicorn did the same as before and in just a few seconds he had an answer onceagain. “ Joe you are.......3 inches tall!Ok well I have solved all of your problems soplease come any time you have any problems!”Bob and Joe headed for home very satisfied.